Making peace…

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A friend and I were talking about a mutual friend today and how he deals with life. It was a good reminder about how we should always make peace with things that happen to us. When he hears others complain about anxiety, stress or panic… he has no idea what they are going through (the anxious and stressful feelings). He says he has never experienced the feelings of anxiety or stress… he just takes everything in stride. Of course he gets frustrated at times, but then shrugs it off like water off a duck’s back. This isn’t some rich kid or person that lives in the lap of luxury either. He is older and has been through LIFE, all aspects of it. I guess what he does is he just accepts the situation for what it is and if he can’t do anything to better it then he just lets it be as is and moves forward. Too many of us get hung up on over analyzing what went wrong here or there and try to figure out ways to change the past rather than accept things for what they are and move forward. I think if we let go a little and were more accepting of the reality of things instead of the illusion of what we want, life would be significantly better. You would spend more time being happier rather than stressing all day about things outside of your control. When we encounter stressful situations we need to try to take a deep breath, figure if we can change anything about it, if not, then make peace with it and move on. Next time you get stressed out or have anxiety, try to pass on the antidepressants and alcohol and try this good ol’ fashioned method. Try two times and call me in the morning. :)

Karma saw that…

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I’m a huge proponent of something we like to call karma. Some of us live by it, others deny it, and some ignore it. Karma… ahhhh karma… it will come around and get you sooner OR later OR even later… no matter what. Sometimes payback is in a different form than what was taken, sometimes it is exactly the same. Trust that in due time, in its own way, it will come back for whatever ill you or someone else has done. It has gotten me several times on occasion so I am one of those that try my best to live by karma’s rule: “What goes around comes around” and the ever so popular Golden Rule from the bible: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. I believe that karma and “the law of attraction” go hand in hand if not the same. Like attracts like. If you do something bad to someone, you will get something like that in return. If you have negative thoughts or wrongdoings in your head, all of that will somehow manifest itself in some way, shape or form. Plotting revenge on someone is never needed because you have to trust that karma has its own way of working its own revenge out. Checks and balances as you may call it. Karma sees and hears everything and keeps a clear record of all. So before you go plotting someone’s demise… cheating… or slashing someone’s tires… just remember the below:

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Keeping Drama Off of Social Media… and sorts.

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Where… just where do you draw the line on what to say or not to say on social media platforms? Everyone has that one friend that likes to rant and rave about all of life’s problems and then gets upset when someone judges them. These days it’s so hard to keep things in your life private because your day-to-day life is put out there for all to see. If you start a new relationship, break-up, or get a divorce, etc., it’s front page news especially if you partake in the whole “relationship status” function on Facebook. Some people will opt out of this by keeping this setting private but a lot of people let it be known when their status changes and await the slew of comments. To me, this is just a lot of drama waiting to happen. I think things like break-ups, divorces, and fights should be kept private. Airing out your dirty laundry or bad mouthing your EX does not make you look good at all especially if it’s a relationship that is on again off again. If a relationship ended badly… more reason to keep it private. As much as you may think people want to know, they don’t. Only your close friends do and you should do it with them off of social media.

If you are broken-hearted, sad or upset over someone… please by all means don’t post “secret” signs, messages, songs or music videos on your page for them. We’re not kids anymore (at least most of us are not) so gone are the days where you send out dedication songs to someone in hopes that they know you are referring to them. Two reasons why you shouldn’t do this: 1) If this person is in your friends list OR circle of friends they will see these posts and think you are really EMO and crazy. You will decrease any chance of reconciliation with this person if you wanted to get back with them in the first place. 2) People in your friends list will get annoyed and tired of seeing your endless rants about being sad, broken-hearted, missing someone, and the endless slew of songs going out to that person. You will get labeled as EMO and crazy. There is no need for any of this! If you feel the need to express yourself, you can start a private journal or blog and post away! We don’t have to show everything we are feeling for the world to see… this can do more harm than good. Only do this for people who you trust, your inner circle.

To me, posting your drama on the internet is only going to attract more of it. Like attracts like… remember my past posts on law of attraction? What are you trying to gain or benefit from this? Social media doesn’t serve the same purpose as your own personal diary. It can get pretty judgmental and nasty out there in cyberspace so tread carefully.

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Be Your Own Author

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Your life is your own book… your own story… your own biography. So why would you let anyone else but yourself write and narrate it? YOU and only YOU have the power to write your own story, start and end chapters, choose where the plot goes and how everything ends and begins. Once you can firmly grasp this power then my dear, you are the master of your own domain. Never let an evil villain in your story hang around longer than you want them to and never drag on a chapter that was over pages ago. Some people get so wrapped up in the endings that they fail to see the beginnings. Endings can be sorrowful, but when something ends… it usually signifies a beginning of sorts. So how is the story of your life going and how what kind of book of life do you want to write today?

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Trials Don’t Define You

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Everyone goes through tough times at one point or another (or many!) in their lives. There are those that let these trials define them and then there are those that let these moments make them stronger. If you let harsh times define you, you are laying blame on things that happen to you. You are letting things that happen to you dictate where you will go and how you will be in life. You should never blame your future on your circumstances. That’s called making excuses. The people who grow stronger from tough times are the people who succeed in life and have no excuses. These people understand that what happens to them is what happens to them. They have a choice of who to become from it. Stronger or defined by it?

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Happiness Project 1

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Sometimes in our day-to-day lives it’s so much easier to point out flaws and dislikes rather than praising the good. We become so consumed with complaining and vocalizing our pet peeves but don’t spend as much time talking about what we love. This goes for everything from our jobs, friends, family, relationships, life, etc. It’s really important to make it a point to recognize and talk about everything you love at least on a daily basis. I decided to create different projects to incorporate into our lives to help with generating well-being and positivity. If you went a week, a month, even a day without complaining or focusing on the negative, your life would change dramatically. This is a start to re-training your mind to see all the things you love rather than focus on the things you hate. It’s all in the way you look at things.

So here’s Happiness Project 1: If you’re pretty new to all of this, try going 1 day without complaining even once. If you can handle this, try for a few days, then a week and so on. Along with refraining from complaining, start acknowledging and opening up your eyes to the things you love and are grateful for. Find the little things in your daily life that you tend to take for granted. Show appreciation to your friends, family and loved ones. Point out to them specific things you love about them and give compliments to strangers.

Go on, what have you got to lose? When you start living with positivity and love, you will only attract more of it to you. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

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Love Thoughts Pt. 2 – Bad love can be a vicious cycle

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We’ve all been there. Where exactly? That place where you keep going back to what ends up hurting you. Where you keep silencing your gut feeling that tells you this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. Where you sell yourself short and settle. Where you mistake all these little “signs” for there being some type of destiny between you and someone else. Trust your heart and your instincts, but know how to read your emotions clearly. Sometimes, your emotions can play tricks on you and make you not think clearly. I always say, what is meant for you, is meant for you. Never force a situation with someone else when it is clearly over or just can’t work out. If someone wants to be with you, remember this, they will move mountains to be with you… whether it be romantic or friendship. Try not to get caught in a vicious love cycle like the one I described in the beginning. Those cycles can be taxing on oneself and time-consuming. Easier said than done, I know, especially when you are in love. But life is too short to continue to go back to someone who doesn’t feel the same or something that just doesn’t work. Relationships are never easy… but they shouldn’t be painful either. Just because you still love and miss someone, doesn’t make it a sign that you are supposed to be together. There is only one thing that determines that and it is TIME. Time reveals all.

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Just be happy…

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I’ve seen people with absolutely nothing be happy and I’ve seen people with everything be unhappy. Happiness starts in your mind and resonates outward. You can either make the best of what you got or always find a reason to be unhappy. When you are always focusing on the negative you can easily lose sight of the many things to be happy about.  It’s okay to always strive for more in life, you deserve it! But, if you are always feeling like you are lacking, then you are not happy. You will only find yourself in a vicious cycle because enough will never be enough. You will always want more. You have to learn to find your place of content and be grateful with what you have. More will follow!

Don’t ever look to other people and material things to make you happy. Yes, these things can complement your life and yes, more money does make life better and easier. But focusing on that alone, will not enrich your life or provide you with that priceless happiness. You have to be happy with who you are before anyone else can make you happy. Otherwise, if they were to ever leave, you would feel shattered. Your happiness is dependent on you and is your responsibility. If someone is not making you happy, you have the choice to walk away.

Once you recognize the things in life that can make you happy, many more doors leading to other portals of happiness will open up. You will automatically attract more things to be joyous about to you. But first, you have to start with you. You have to find a way to start being happy from within and about yourself first and foremost. Everything else will follow your lead.

Have you heard of the saying: “You aren’t truly wealthy until you have something that money can’t buy?”

What things can you think of today that make you happy?

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Ex’s Can’t Be Friends.

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I’ve only heard of rare instances where EX’s have maintained a constant close friendship and carried it on through the years. I don’t personally know anyone who has done this but I can tell it’s not common. It may be common for those who: briefly dated, felt platonic for one another, became incompatible, or dated eons ago and reconnected later in life. Situations where I know a friendship for sure can never be a true constant platonic friendship (meaning you carry on a friendship with this person on a regular basis and they are in your circle of friends) is if the break-up ended badly, one or both persons still care for the other, it was a long-term relationship, you were married, one or both persons did something horrible to the other (cheated, betrayal, manipulation, abuse, lies, theft, etc.).

I see way too many people trying to build a friendship with a newly appointed EX and I know, it’s just not a good idea. Not now at least. After a break-up you need to give some time and space to each other to regroup and find your own individual selves again. The longer the relationship was, the longer you need. In my book, it’s at least 6 months to a year. If you try to be friends right away, one or both can very well get hurt. Sooner or later one person is going to start dating and you may or may not be ready to face that when it happens. Best to distance yourself and give yourself time to heal so that when you do face it, it won’t hurt as much. 

Personally, I don’t suggest trying to be friends with your EX at all. You can remain cordial, and say hello when you run into them in public. But, it’s just such a sticky matter… there are so many people on this earth to be friends with why make things complicated? If you still at all care for your EX, being friends is a HUGE NO NO. You are just setting yourself up for pain and disaster. If your EX is the one who is still carrying a torch for you, then all the more reason to let it go. I know this person may have been a huge part or your life, your best friend even, but it’s best to make a clean break and find who you are apart from them rather than let the past linger around your future.

Nothing is impossible…

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Don’t submit to defeat before even beginning… don’t admit to doom before you even start. When you say things like “can’t”, “won’t”, “never” or “impossible”, you are guaranteed to lock yourself into defeat before even giving yourself a chance to start. Why do people do this? Probably lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem and fear of getting let down. Sometimes we want to talk ourselves into expecting defeat so that if something bad does happen, we are not so surprised… and if something good happens? Well, we will be even more surprised. That’s what is wrong here. Don’t ever be surprised that something went your way. If you are surprised, then deep down inside you may have felt that you didn’t deserve it or expect it. To open the doors to all positive possibilities you have to expect things to go your way, you even have to demand it damn it! You deserve everything you ever wanted so never settle for less! Unlocking the impossible all starts in your heart and head. Tell yourself everything is possible and go out there and make it happen!

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